Dear childhood

Dear childhood
you were gone within moments
feeling like hours for my childish mind
you left bruises on my innocent skin
marks from pretending finally being an adult
but I was not

Dear childhood
you left us with fear
of what is to come
a sincere goodbye seemed like relief
when in the end it turned out to make us fall down so often
we forgot how to walk

Dear childhood
you were our best teacher
a good friend and our knight
I remember running to my friends house
I remember the commonplace of entering everyones room
without bothering

But sadly
what I am most likely to remember

Dear childhood
you left me with disappointment
I was just a child
suddenly so so scared
No need to worry, everyone said
I still did

They say you left me too early
and I still feel like we are not yet done
with sharing each others thoughts
and I still feel haunted
by never knowing who cut my bikes seat
by never being the front dancer in dance class
by never being allowed to play football
it's apparently not a girls sport

Dear childhood
I am frightened by your legacy
you were gone so fast
I couldn't even realize
how all of a sudden I wasn't my small self anymore
I am sincerely sorry
how I was never able to give you a proper goodbye
I can still smell the river we used to walk through
for hours on end
I can still hear my mothers signal whistle
for me to come home

And I wish, oh how I wish
I wish you would whistle one more time
so I can come home
because I don't know where that is anymore